Sometimes life gets overwhelming, and everything you were once looking forward to sort of crashes. Technically it doesn’t; it becomes a state of everything, everywhere, all at once. And yes, I have watched the movie. It is okay to take a break from time to time. I for one took a hiatus for close to a month. And the worst part of it is that I was struggling to get back to my groove. I didn’t know how to start writing again; I still don’t know how to.
I haven’t posted any meaningful content on my socials, and it feels like I am treading water for the first time. To say the least, I feel lost. And I don’t know why, because at first, when I started out, everything felt like it was going great. I had a content calendar, I was excited about the new year, and I just felt like I had it all figured out. I mean if you asked me what went wrong, I can’t really pinpoint it.
Not being productive and being stuck has really taken a toll on me. And I have been beating myself up for the past few weeks because I have been unable to build momentum. But that didn’t work out. I mean, if you think about it, you cannot kick someone when they are down. And that’s what I was doing. But then I thought about it, and I decided it was okay to feel lost, stuck, even. And you cannot force yourself out of a rut. I tried.
The more I wanted so badly to get back to the grind, the more I actively avoided the most important things. I would procrastinate, taking up other tasks that do not require me to use my brain as much. I was on literal autopilot. And as much as this kept me from focusing on my creative side for the most part, I still felt useless.
But now I know better; I know that if I lose my mojo, all I need to do is allow myself to be in that space. Without forcing myself out of it. Zero expectations and just allow myself to BE.
I’m choosing to slow down and cut myself some slack. Sometimes being gentle with yourself works way better than being hard. So if you feel like you are going through the same, remember to move with kindness and grace not only when dealing with others but with yourself too.
XO, Shisoka.